FYI on the fine art of wines for the holidays.
November 12, 2008
Wines of The Times
Bottles That Make Good Guests
By ERIC ASIMOV
SUPPOSE I told you that with your Thanksgiving turkey, your stuffing, your cranberry sauce, and all the delicious side dishes that will grace your holiday table, one wine and one wine only would match up. Unless you pick that one wine you face the specter of horrible embarrassment.
Sound ridiculous? Well, of course it is. Yet more people than I care to think about feel exactly this way when selecting Thanksgiving wines.
Choosing the wine for any occasion is well known as an exercise in agony. Thanksgiving, for some reason, fills people with an extra dimension of dread. Perhaps it.s the idea of performing for one.s loving family, always so ready to heap scorn for your benefit. Or maybe there.s secret pleasure in being squashed in the paralyzing spotlight, dancing, as Tom Lehrer once put it, to .The Masochism Tango..
If the prospect of shame and disgrace is a welcome part of your holiday ritual, by all means enjoy the feeling. But I would be remiss not to point out that it.s all so unnecessary!
Picking a wine should never be an occasion for self-flagellation, and at Thanksgiving least of all. The meal itself is typically a riot of contrasts . the savory stuffing, the sweetness of yams, the blank slate of the turkey . and wide open to individual eccentricities like marshmallows, almond slivers and the like. The wine-selection task couldn.t be simpler: versatility and plentitude.
In an effort to demonstrate that this can be done without the suffering, the wine panel.s home team . Julia Moskin, Florence Fabricant, Frank Bruni and me . gathered to celebrate Thanksgiving early, with a complete holiday meal, as we have annually for the last five years. The four of us, along with our tasting coordinator, Bernard Kirsch, each brought two wines to the meal, one red and one white, costing no more than $25 each.
If experience has taught us anything, it.s that the soporific effects of a long day of cooking, eating and socializing, whether sincere or forced, must be countered with wines that are light-bodied, limber and above all refreshing. Now, times are tough, but we found some pretty good values, like a $9 wonder Florence brought in. It was a 2007 sauvignon blanc from BV Coastal Estates, Beaulieu.s line of inexpensive mass-market wines. Ordinarily, I wouldn.t expect much from it. But in our blind tasting we were all charmed. All except Frank, that is, who announced that he does not appreciate the sauvignon blanc grape. Actually, on tasting the wine, he offered a grimace and a cry of anguish.
Now, pay attention, for here is a case study. Your guest, for whom you have the deepest affection, detests your wine. Did Florence wring her hands or blush with shame? She did not. She joined us in laughing at Frank. Well, why not? It was a light, restrained wine with just enough sass to be refreshing as well as some mineral notes.
Dismissive action is required if someone objects to wines as good as Frank.s choice, a not-quite-dry 2006 Savenniès from Domaine du Closel, or my own, a 2007 Muscadet Clos des Briords from Domaine de la Péè. Good feelings abounded as Frank professed his love of the chenin blanc grape. .It.s like drinking sunshine,. he gushed as a fillip of gratitude at sharing the holiday table passed through us all.
I was not so lucky. Though my wine had all the lively tang and yeasty goodness that I look for in a good young muscadet, Florence objected, calling it sour. It was her turn to be ignored.
Julia and Bernie had more to endure. Julia.s selection, a 2006 sylvaner from Domaine Ostertag in Alsace, was a risk. The sylvaner grape doesn.t often show much of a personality, although Florence did detect an .oily volatility.. I sensed a kind of tropical, bananalike aroma, though it went down easily enough.
Bernie, too, chose an Alsatian wine, a 2007 pinot gris from Paul Blanck that was simply too sweet, although it also had an earthy funk that we liked. Bernie said he had enjoyed this wine when visiting the winery. .Pinot gris tastes a little different when you drink it in Alsace,. he said.
Our reds gave us plenty of practice in withstanding withering criticism. Frank.s red, the 2006 Terre des Chardons Marginal from the Costiès de Nîs, the southernmost region in the Rhone, would be a terrific choice for a crowd of wine geeks. Its funky, meaty flavor is a turn-on to certain kinds of questing palates. But what Frank called aggressively interesting and I called baconlike, Florence called liver-y, and Julia called weird. Polarizing, yes, but very good.
I loved the wine I brought, a 2007 Morgon from Daniel Bouland, an excellent if unsung Beaujolais producer. I found its flavors of violets and minerals endlessly interesting, but Julia said in the blind tasting that it reminded her of Beaujolais, .and not in a good way..
Florence, sticking to her principle of only American wines for Thanksgiving, picked a 2006 cabernet sauvignon from Liberty School in Paso Robles. I don.t usually think of cabernet as versatile, but this wine had both roundness and structure. But Frank and Julia both thought it was generic.
Bernie took a good stab with a 2005 cabernet franc, from Domaine Delesvaux from the Anjou region of the Loire Valley. Loire reds are good bets, but this was a little soft, although Julia called it .snippy,. which she meant in a good way. Julia.s red was a 2005 syrah from Morgan in Monterey, and she loved its smoky sweetness. Florence and I both called the wine bland, while Frank explained to Julia that he hated it.
It was a useful moment. Thanksgiving guests, after all, are more apt to be emotional than clinical, and Julia handled the situation perfectly, by ignoring Frank.
Let.s sum up. As at any other gathering, tempestuous moments will occur as passionate people express their heartfelt feelings. You cannot always satisfy these people. So, keeping in mind what I.ve said about versatile, nimble wines, the most important thing you can do is choose wines you really like. That way, if nobody else is happy, you will at least have pleased yourself.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/12/dining/12wine.html?pagewanted=print
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* Dr. James Ellingson, jellings(a)me.umn.edu *
* University of Minnesota, mobile : 651/645-0753 *
* Great Lakes Brewing News, 1569 Laurel Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104 *
Here's a link to the notes for an unusual tasting: five Oregon Pinot Noir winemakers decided (2006) to make wine from each other's
grapes. The set of 25 wines (5 X 5) has been for sale around Oregon this year. This is one group's experience...
http://dat.erobertparker.com/bboard/showthread.php?t=212931<http://dat.erobertparker.com/bboard/showthread.php?t=212931>
Normally, I'm not especially interested in reading tasting notes, but this one I found interesting. One might expect a winemaker
to really shine in this project when using her/his own grapes - that isn't always the case! Cool experiment.
We are trying to get some Thursday nights back on the calendar. The first will be on Thursday Jan. 14th at Cave Vin on 55th and Xerxes. There is room for 12. Don't know what the menu set up will be or the wine, but will keep you posted. More later. Lori Ames
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FYI
For bargain wines, this is a very good year
Jon BonnéSunday, November 8, 2009
For bargain wines, this is a very good year.
It's no surprise what goes through our minds when we're standing in front of the wine shelf, scanning for bargains.
But what about the folks on the other side of the equation? What are the wine buyers thinking when they're scouting for deals?
It's time again for our Bargain Wine fiesta. This time I turned to three people who help put great deals on the shelves. No surprise: Their conclusion was pretty much the same as mine.
"Right now it's a really good time to be a consumer of wine," says Julie Joy, senior buyer for Cost Plus World Market. "I look at stores now compared to previous years and say, 'There are some really good deals out there.' "
That doesn't apply across the board. Some expensive wines are still expensive, even after a year for their makers to get a reality check. But one-third of us are actually increasing our purchases of wine priced $6 to $15, according to research firm Wine Opinions. When deals are there to be found, we drink them.
I tapped buyers for three stores that traffic in a lot of wines that fit our price limits. Nothing was off-limits, but I asked them to stretch any boundaries. It takes skill to find wines with a great flavor-to-dollar ratio, and I wanted them to share a few secrets.
Each took a different tack, selecting about a case worth apiece. From that I chose the best 20.
I asked Wilfred Wong, cellarmaster at BevMo, to look beyond some of the traditional varietals in which the Concord-based retailer specializes. He brought in buyer Bill Hayes to lend a hand, and they took little time devising a list of wines that are offbeat (random Washington white blends) and winning (prosecco).
Of all the buyers, I least expected the BevMo duo to embrace obscure, but you'll find nary a Merlot or Chardonnay in the lineup. Instead, they suggested everything from a standout California Viognier to a brimmingly aromatic red Cotes du Rhone. Leading us to Secret Strategy No. 1: The less obvious, the better the wines.
Though BevMo has a solid selection of domestic wines, some of the best deals this year come from farther afield. French wine, in particular, has been easy to pick up on the cheap, even with the weak dollar. "It tells you how hungry the French are right now," Hayes says.
Julie Joy won extra points for the single best deal of the lineup: a magnum of Segura Viudas Cava for just $10.
Now, a double-size bottle by definition is a party on its own, but double bubbly for a sawbuck? Boo-yah.
Joy had other tricks to offer: A New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc that will win over lots of converts from the Villa Maria/Kim Crawford realms. And a hearty, unknown Russian River Pinot that clocks in at just $15.
On balance her choices were subs for sometimes better-known names - which leads us to Secret Strategy No. 2: Instead of paying for a familiar name, pay for the region and the wine.
The final dose of help came from Daniel Kahn, owner of Spencer & Daniel's wine outlet in San Francisco (1541 Polk St., near Sacramento).
Kahn's specialty is hunting down closeouts and one-time deals. Some of the savviest buys (also some of the worst) can come from scooping up the leftovers of wine distributors. As he points out: "The real deals sell 3-to-1 over the value priced wine."
Kahn's collection pointed out the virtues and risks of buying this way. There were amazing highs (the 2008 Cherubino Riesling from Australia would be completely cellar-worthy even at its regular price) along with bargain superstars (the Redtree Pinot Noir) and a couple of lows. (Old-vintage rosés a dicey prospect.) In a couple of cases the category was right - Cabernet from Australia's Coonawarra Valley actually tastes better with some age - even if the specific wine didn't quite perform.
Which is probably why Kahn noted that the Two Buck Chuck tactic applies even more in the closeout aisle: Buy a bottle, try it, and if you like it, buy a case. And that brings us to Secret Strategy No. 3: Find a winner and stick with it - at least for a month or so.
All the buyers made one thing clear: It's a great time to be on the hunt for bargain wine. Discounts abound. Store managers who want to clear their warehouse or balance their books are cutting deals.
That means we all should drink well this holiday season, no matter what we can spend.
Our list of buyers' best deals. K8
Best of the bargains
Here are our wine buyers' bargain picks, as vetted by Chronicle Wine Editor Jon BonnéSuggestions came from Wilfred Wong of BevMo, Julie Joy of Cost Plus and Daniel Kahn of Spencer & Daniel's. Please note: Prices listed are typically what we paid, but may vary from store to store.
Sparkling
NV Poema Brut Cava ($10): A solid performer in the cava category. Aggressively fizzy, with apple and grey mineral flavors and a curt lemon-pith finish. A bit rounder mouthfeel, despite impressively low alcohol. Take it to the table. (Importer: Kobrand.) Suggested by: Wong
NV Segura Viudas Brut Cava ($10/magnum): Quite simply, the bargain find of the season. This historic Spanish sparkling producer may be a familiar name, and the wine's all ripe apple and yeast, but all you need to know is this. Magnum. Ten bucks. I believe the translation is, "Instant holiday party." Suggested by: Joy
NV Villa Sandi Il Fresco Brut Prosecco ($13): A balanced, refreshing effort from a respected producer. Fresh orange and tart candy flavors come in a lighter style, but refined bubbles and some deft sweetness (despite its brut label) round it out in a very pleasing way. (Importer: Folio Wine Co.) Suggested by: Wong
White
2008 Alta Adelaide Hills Sauvignon Blanc ($10): A classy, delicious effort from Australia. Freshly herbal and peach-filled, with ripe kiwi and grapefruit. Not as austere as Marlborough, but with weight (from some lees contact) and bouncy citrus fruit that keeps giving. (Importer: Specialty Cellars.) Suggested by: Kahn
2008 Cave de Pomerols Hugues Beaulieu Coteaux du Languedoc Picpoul de Pinet ($10): An always-fun pick from one of the more successful co-ops in the south of France. Picpoul is one of the obscure Rhone grapes, and this vintage is crisper than some, but there's enough weight to put it on the dinner table. White peppercorn and a floral lift to tangy, sharp lemon and saline flavors. Remember this label. It delivers. (Importer: Kysela Pere et Fils.) Suggested by: Wong
2008 Larry Cherubino The Yard Whispering Hill Vineyard Mount Barker Riesling ($6): Exhibit A of why you always should scour the bargain aisle. Cherubino, onetime winemaker for Tintara and Houghton, created this standout Australian Riesling from vines planted on their own roots in 1987. With beautifully austere stone and lemon pith scents, and laser-like acidity, it will improve for up to a decade. At its regular price above $20, it still would be a worthy cellar pick. Kahn graciously downplayed the find, but we thank the wine gods for whatever ruffle in the supply chain made it appear. (Importer: Vintage New World.) Suggested by: Kahn
2008 Dashwood Winemakers' Selection Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc ($10): Here's the price-killer for those wanting to save a few bucks on their Kiwi fix. Quintessential Marlborough grass notes, with shaved green papaya, pomelo and apricot skin. Racy and focused, with enough weight to match to a meal. (Importer: Pasternak Wine Imports.) Suggested by: Joy
2007 Hedges CMS Columbia Valley White ($12): Washington's Hedges family makes affordable blends under the CMS label, in this case standing for Chardonnay, Marsanne and Sauvignon Blanc. Another reliable value brand to seek. Pretty chervil and buttercup highlights atop the fresh Meyer lemon and Anjou pear. Some decent weight to it, making it ample to take on fish or chicken. Suggested by: Wong
2008 McManis California Viognier ($11): The McManis family and their winemakers deserve credit for a Viognier that seriously outperforms. Harvested mostly from their own vineyards in Manteca and made in steel tanks, it offers substantial peach nectar and wildflower, with perfect typicity. A citrus-zest kick provides that lively edge Viognier so desperately needs. Fantastic value. Suggested by: Wong
Red
2008 Redtree California Pinot Noir ($9): A gulpable Pinot crafted by industry veterans Bob Broman and Roy Cecchetti (Pepperwood Grove), sourced from an unlikely Pinot spot: Lodi. It's this year's runaway success. Bright, true Pinot flavors of Bing cherry and watermelon skin. Straightfoward and juicy, and exactly as it should be. Suggested by: Kahn
2008 Castle Rock Central Coast Pinot Noir ($12): Spicy, ripe and performing above Castle Rock's average. Raspberry jam and plum skin, with an honest earthy hint lurking in back but also a touch of sourness. You can find it discounted below $8. Suggested by: Joy
2008 Feeding Frenzy Russian River Valley Pinot Noir ($15): A bargain-priced Pinot with great geography. Dense and darker. Blackberry, orange peel and a clear oak note. Not exactly subtle but ample and bold. Suggested by: Joy
2007 Vinos Sin-Ley M5 Yecla Monastrell ($13): The latest Monastrell (aka Mourvedre) from a Spanish project ("Without Law") to make wines outside the country's traditional rules. Leathery and deep, this bottling from the emerging Yecla region is packed with pleasing bramble fruit and grippy tannins, and given depth by a bright mineral edge. (Importer: Ole.) Suggested by: Wong
2007 Domaine des Escaravailles Les Sablieres Cotes du Rhone ($13): Vibrant berry notes from the Grenache, with a white pepper overtone and a bark-like grip on the palate. Full and food-friendly, exactly what a Cotes du Rhone should be. (Importer: Jeff Wilburn Selections/Wine Agencies Inc.) Suggested by: Wong
2006 Jade Mountain La Provencale California Red Wine ($10): A blend of Syrah, Mourvedre, Carignane and Viognier from a pioneering California Rhone name, now controlled by Diageo. Packed with purple fruit, plus a rich oak overtone and dry-herb accents. Well assembled and gutsy, with a dark, spicy, warm finish. Suggested by: Joy
2006 Montevina Amador County Zinfandel ($8): An appealing new look for this well-known Sierras label. It's solid, reined-in Zin, with spicy plum and cherry, and sweet echoes on the finish that make it user-friendly. Suggested by: Kahn
2007 Volver Paso a Paso La Mancha Tempranillo ($9): An outperformer from Spain's La Mancha region, one of importer Jorge Ordonez's screaming Iberian deals. Distinct smoke and plum skin, with mocha, espelette pepper and bright bramble fruit. Tempranillo's classic tannins show up at the end, but mostly as a boost for food. (Importer: Jorge Ordonez/Henry Wine Group.) Suggested by: Wong
2008 Maipe Andean Culture Mendoza Malbec ($13): A hot wine in a hot category, which makes it easy to find around town. Consultant Alberto Antonini (Altos Las Hormigas) also helped propel this new runaway hit. Scents of smoky leaves, violet, currant and huckleberry, with a bright surge of fruit. A mineral edge to the tannins adds depth. (Importer: Kysela Pere et Fils.) Suggested by: Joy
2006 Tin Roof Cellars California Merlot ($10): A solid effort from winemaker Melissa Bates for one of the value labels run by Jackson Family Wines. Distinct oak flavors are balanced by solid black tea and bright plum, with all the pleasing softness of Merlot. Suggested by: Kahn
2007 Manifesto North Coast Cabernet Sauvignon ($15): The Manifesto wines are a case of a star winemaker - Jamey Whetstone - focusing on good fruit from a lesser-known corner, in this case Suisun Valley, due east of Napa. They're a great success, and this solid, drinkable Cab is exactly what it should be: with solid oak scents, plus tobacco and dried branches, plus dried currant and juicy blackberry fruit. The screwcap's a plus. Suggested by: Kahn
Jon Bonnés The Chronicle's wine editor. Find him at jbonne(a)sfchronicle.com or twitter.com/jbonne.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/11/08/FDU31AE3K1.DTL
This article appeared on page K - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle
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* Dr. James Ellingson, jellings(a)me.umn.edu *
* University of Minnesota, mobile : 651/645-0753 *
* Great Lakes Brewing News, 1569 Laurel Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104 *
http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/05/one-hundred-things-restaurant-staf…
November 5, 2009, 9:00 am
100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 2)
By Bruce Buschel
This is the second half of the 100 do.s and don.ts from last week.s post. Again, this list is for one particular restaurant, mine, which is under construction in Bridgehampton, N.Y., and will, with any luck, open this spring. I realize that every deli needs a wisecracking waiter, most pizza joints can handle heavy metal, and burgers always taste better when delivered by a server with tattoos and tongue piercing(s).
Not even a hundred suggestions can cover all the bases, so one is grateful for the many comments following the 50, including striking .you guys. from the restaurant lexicon and making sure the alcohol order is taken lickety-split. Thanks for all of the help.
51. If there is a service charge, alert your guests when you present the bill. It.s not a secret or a trick.
52. Know your menu inside and out. If you serve Balsam Farm candy-striped beets, know something about Balsam Farm and candy-striped beets.
53. Do not let guests double-order unintentionally; remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.
54. If there is a prix fixe, let guests know about it. Do not force anyone to ask for the .special. menu.
55. Do not serve an amuse-bouche without detailing the ingredients. Allergies are a serious matter; peanut oil can kill. (This would also be a good time to ask if anyone has any allergies.)
56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)
57. Bring the pepper mill with the appetizer. Do not make people wait or beg for a condiment.
58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
59. Do not leave place settings that are not being used.
60. Bring all the appetizers at the same time, or do not bring the appetizers. Same with entrees and desserts.
61. Do not stand behind someone who is ordering. Make eye contact. Thank him or her.
62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You.ll make people nervous.
62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.
63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.
64. Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.
65. Always remove used silverware and replace it with new.
66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor . be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.
67. Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhhhh.
68. Do not reach across one guest to serve another.
69. If a guest is having trouble making a decision, help out. If someone wants to know your life story, keep it short. If someone wants to meet the chef, make an effort.
70. Never deliver a hot plate without warning the guest. And never ask a guest to pass along that hot plate.
71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)
72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.
73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.
74. Let the guests know the restaurant is out of something before the guests read the menu and order the missing dish.
75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.
77. Do not disappear.
78. Do not ask, .Are you still working on that?. Dining is not work . until questions like this are asked.
79. When someone orders a drink .straight up,. determine if he wants it .neat. . right out of the bottle . or chilled. Up is up, but .straight up. is debatable.
80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.
81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.
82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.
84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.
84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.
85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.
86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.
87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.
88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.
89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.
90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.
91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff . it.s for the customers.)
92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.
93. Do not play brass . no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.
94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn.t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bubléyou have just ruined a meal.
95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.
96. Do not say anything after a tip . be it good, bad, indifferent . except, .Thank you very much..
97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.
98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.
99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.
100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a .good table. your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.
Bonus Track: As Bill Gates has said, .Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.. (Of course, Microsoft is one of the most litigious companies in history, so one can take Mr. Gates.s counsel with a grain of salt. Gray sea salt is a nice addition to any table.)
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* Dr. James Ellingson, jellings(a)me.umn.edu *
* University of Minnesota, mobile : 651/645-0753 *
* Great Lakes Brewing News, 1569 Laurel Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104 *
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I'm Still Enjoying Working on This...
I'm Still Enjoying Working on This...
Posted 10/23/2009 8:17 AM PDT
I remember an old episode of The Honeymooners where the Kramdens and the Nortons were taking etiquette lessons so they could get approved for a membership at the local Country Club. Their snooty instructor tells them, .There are two words in the English language that should never be used: one is .swell. and the other one is .lousy.., to which Norton replies, .Well give us the lousy one first..
As I moved up the restaurant food chain from places that referred to themselves as .stores. and the guests were .Hon. and .Sweetie. (as in .Can I warm that up for you Hon/Sweetie?.), to more refined places full of .Sirs. and .Madams., I learned there are certain words that should never be used during interactions with guests. There are no .folks. and there are no .you guys.. I learned that when a guest says .Thank you., the response is .My pleasure,. as .You.re welcome. indicates you have done them a favor, not your job. I also learned that dinner is not a task to be completed; so, even though I have been served meat at restaurants that amounted to nothing more than an exercise in chewing, no, I am not .still working on that. (or even worse, the one word question when clearing, .Working?.) Generally it.s not .work., it.s my dinner. I have had busboys ask me, .Done?. or .Finished?. These are just barely preferable to .Working?. and usually there is some language barrier involved. They still imply an arduous task that I may need help in completing. If these restaurants consider their meals such a job then, please, show me where the unemployment line is forming.
Too many servers go the other route and imply satisfaction where none has been previously indicated by employing the most overused word in the restaurant business: enjoy. I would like to see the word .Enjoy. banned for life from the vocabulary of everyone working in the restaurant business just on general principles. It is probably second only to .Excellent. on the overused and misused lists. Is it a verb, as in .Are you still enjoying?. (I.m not sure I ever started); or an adverbial modifier in the front-loaded question, .Was the main course enjoyable for you?. (just barely.). It.s two, two, two words in one!
And sometimes it is simply a one-word command indicating that you must approve of your dish before you have even lifted your fork, when your overly exuberant server sets down your plate and instructs you to .En-JOY!. Just .Shut-UP!. and .Mind your own BUIS-ness!.
Here is the definition of .enjoy. according to Princeton University.s on-line dictionary service:
en.joy (en-joi)
1. to experience with joy; take pleasure in: He enjoys Chinese food.
2. to have and use with satisfaction; have the benefit of: He enjoys an excellent income from his trust funds.
3. to find or experience pleasure for (oneself): She seems to enjoy herself at everything she does.
4. to undergo (an improvement): Automobile manufacturers have enjoyed a six-percent rise in sales over the past month.
5. to have intercourse with (archaic).
So, yes, sometimes I will
1. .experience with joy. and .take pleasure in. the dish I have been served, and occasionally I will
2. .have and use it with satisfaction.; I will even, on the rare occasion
3. .find or experience pleasure for myself. by eating it; and my waistline most definitely has
4. .undergone. something, although if you saw me in my underwear you would scarcely think it .an improvement..
But if you want to know if us folks are still working on us guys. excellent enjoyment, Hon, please go
5. .enjoy. yourself.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/contribute/sn/persona?User=nativenapkin&plckP…
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* Dr. James Ellingson, jellings(a)me.umn.edu *
* University of Minnesota, mobile : 651/645-0753 *
* Great Lakes Brewing News, 1569 Laurel Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104 *
So far, Warren's favorite: "Are you still working on that?" isn't on the list.
Maybe next week.
Cheers,
Jim
October 29, 2009, 12:39 pm
One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
By Bruce Buschel
Herewith is a modest list of dos and don.ts for servers at the seafood restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses, libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature. And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks, reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that role?
1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, .Are you waiting for someone?. Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, .Bottled water or just tap?. Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, .We only have two lobsters left.. Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, .How.s everything?. or .How was the meal?. listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say .I don.t know. to any question without following with, .I.ll find out..
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, .Who.s having the shrimp?.
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. .Not when I.m on duty. will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a .dude..
39. Do not call a woman .lady..
40. Never say, .Good choice,. implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, .No problem. is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. .My pleasure. or .You.re welcome. will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest.s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It.s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it.s tip time. Be consistent throughout.
Next week: 51-100.
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* Dr. James Ellingson, jellings(a)me.umn.edu *
* University of Minnesota, mobile : 651/645-0753 *
* Great Lakes Brewing News, 1569 Laurel Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104 *
