4 Sep
2002
4 Sep
'02
11:54 a.m.
Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer
brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
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following
warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer
containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like an asshole.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the same boring story over and over again
until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!!
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to thay shings like thish.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you
to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically converse with other members
of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting
in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you
to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and
or name you can't remember).
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more
handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe you are invisible.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a
disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby
small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may actually
CAUSE pregnancy.
http://blackroses.textfiles.com/food/beerwarn.txt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]