11 Apr
2002
11 Apr
'02
11:23 a.m.
Most of these came from a priceless but little-known source of beer
quotes, "Michael Jackson's Little Book of Beer", which also contains the
well-known such as:
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
- Benjamin Franklin
to the less known such as:
Bartender: "Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
Norm: "No. I know what they look like. Just pour me one."
- TV show Cheers
and the well-known but of forgotten source:
"You can never buy beer; you just rent it."
- ARCHIE BUNKER
and the very, very, very, very old:
"Beer he drank - seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became
hillarious. His heart was glad and his face shone."
- from "The Epic of Gilgamesh", 3,000 BC (5,000 years ago), the
world's oldest narrative tale, from Mesopotamia.
to finally, the way I feel this morning:
"I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and
knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day."
- Dean Martin
I keep the book next to my computer, for whenever I need a good beer
quote. It is also a valuable reference for getting the right wording and
source of many of the oft-misused beer quotes, since MJ's editors
researched it all.
Roger Deschner Listmeister, Chicago Beer Society rogerd(a)uic.edu
============= "I work until BEER o'clock." - Stephen King ==============
On Thu, 11 Apr 2002, Rich Larsen wrote:
"People who drink light "beer"
don't like the taste of
beer; they just like to pee a lot..." -Capital
Brewery, Middleton, WI, USA
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." -Dave
Barry-
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to
killing you with beer." -Homer Simpson
"Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it
from urine." --David Moulton
"When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of
800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep
comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly
over half that quantity of beer." --Postpetroleum
Guzzler, Dave Barry
"Draft beer, not people!" - Anon
"Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder." - Anon
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer
and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a
football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the
very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa
ALCOHOL QUOTES
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That
will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest
Hemmingway
"Always remember that I have taken more out of
alcohol, than alcohol has taken out of me." -Winston
Churchill
"I drink to make other people interesting." -Dave
Barry
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on." -Dean Martin
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my
lunch?" --W.C. Fields
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes." --Oscar
Wilde
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "Sir, you're drunk!"
Churchill: "Madam, you're ugly; But at least I'll be
sober in the morning"
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "Sir, if you were my
husband, I would poison your drink."
Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."